Yogi Berra is one of the most iconic players in American baseball history. In addition to a brilliant sports career, he also created a huge number of aphorisms. This man possessed a huge stock of intelligence, often generating phrases that made his teammates and fans literally roll on the floor laughing. He often used the tautological technique, and his famous phrases were instantly disassembled into numerous quotes.

The phenomenon of this athlete was that he was always in the spotlight due to his special light attitude to sports activities and life. He received his nickname “Yogi” for his peculiar manner of squatting on the field, which resembled one of the Indian asanas. He never took offence at this comparison, and even sports commentators often called him that. He barely used his permanent name. Throughout his sports career, he has repeatedly received offers from various television channels to perform in humorous programs. Yogi himself delicately refused this, not counting humor as his main recognition.

He lived for 90 years, leaving us with a magnificent legacy in the form of quotes used to this day. This is a true phenomenon that has dominated everything, showing the world leadership qualities and laid-back kindness. Many of his phrases became real aphorisms, and the manner of jokes was adopted by many comedians.

The funniest quotes from Yogi Berra

Can you make a joke out of nothing? This is a real gift, it cannot be purchased for money or received in the process of learning, it is available only from birth.

“If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”

“It’s not too far. It just seems like it is.”

“In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”

“90% of the putts that are short don’t go in.”

“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

“Texas has a lot of electrical votes.” During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.

“He must have made that before he died.” Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.

“You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough in the second half you give what’s left.”

After finishing his comic book, Yogi turns to his roommate, who’s reading a medical textbook. Yogi asks: “How does yours come out?”

Upon becoming the Astro’s coach Yogi replied: “What difference does a uniform make? You don’t hit with it.”

Yogi Berra quotes for fun company

Best Yogi Berra quotes

He has always been in the spotlight thanks to his unrivalled sense of humor and enormous resourcefulness. He could defuse a difficult situation at any moment.

“Never answer an anonymous letter.”

“Swing at the strikes.”

“Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”

When told a teammate was waiting for Bo Derek, Yogi responded, “I haven’t seen him.”

When asked if he wanted to go see a dirty movie Yogi replied: “Okay, who’s in it?”

“Yeah, but we’re making great time!” In reply to “Hey Yogi, I think we’re lost.”

“It gets late early out there.” Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.

Yogi turned down a mousse for dessert while in Alaska with the response: “The meat’s too tough and the horns get stuck in my teeth.”

“You can observe a lot just by watching.”

“Thanks, you don’t look so hot yourself.” After being told he looked nice and cool.

Yogi Berra Quotes for Public Speaking

This man also possessed a unique oratory skill from birth. His childhood friends also recalled that most people always gathered around Yoggi.

“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”

When told by a teammate he was foolish for not getting life insurance Yogi replied heatedly: “I’ll get it when I die.”

“Dickey is learning me his experience.” Comment on learning from Bill Dickey.

“He can run anytime he wants. I’m giving him the red light.” On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.

“He was a big clog in their machine.”

“I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”

“The towels were so thick there… I could hardly close my suitcase.”

When told his golfing buddies were using Ultra 2 and a Top Flite 3 balls Yogi responded: “Then I’ll use a Molitor 3.”

“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

“What’s a Yogi-ism?” His question after being told he had used a Yogi-ism.

Sports Quotes from Yogi Berra

Yogi Berra quotes and sayings

His whole life was connected with his beloved baseball. He not only trained, but also took it extremely lightly, bringing a significant amount of humor into the games.

“Is he living? Is he living now?”

“I’d say he’s done more than that.” When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.

“I never said most of the things I said.”

A newspaper said its game summary of Yogi going 2 for 4 instead of 3 for 4 was a typographical error. Yogi’s reply: “Like hell it was… it was a clean single to right.”

“It’s never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn’t.”

“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”

“You should always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.”

“We made too many wrong mistakes.”

“Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?”

The funniest quotes from Yogi Berra

His any public appearance in post-match interviews or on television led to a lot of excitement. People expected a spectacle from him. Also Yogi has brought up several generations of athletes.

“I’d find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I’d return it.” When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

“Even the music was nice.” Yogi’s reply about the opera Tosca.

When asked what he liked best about school he had a one word answer: “Closed.”

“It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”

“All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”

When asked what size hat he wore he replied: “I’m not in shape yet.”

“I always knew that record would stand until it was broken.” Supposedly said when Johnny Bench broke his home run record.

“I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

When asked if the naked fans streaking the field were men or women, Yogi replied: “I don’t know. They had bags over their heads.”

“I’m not gonna buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”

Yogi-ism for every day

All of his aphorisms have a special name for a reason. This is truly a unique phenomenon in the world of humor, when a person who has the ability to influence the minds of the audience devoted himself completely to sports and training.

When asked if he really confused Glenn Close with Glen Cove his answer was: “A little bit.”

“I want to thank you for making this night necessary.” On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.

Number 100 is taken from a commencement speech Yogi gave to the Class of ’96 at Montclair State: “I am… happy to speak my words… A lot of people have been quoting me… But, as I once said, I didn’t really say everything I said. So now it’s my turn. I want to give some of my famous advice to the graduates.

When told his buddy got a cyst on his back while trodding through bushes quail hunting Yogi queried: “What kind of bird is a cyst?”

When his teammate asked for $10.00 for breakfast Yogi thumbed through a wad of bills from his pocket and replied, “I don’t have a ten.”

“That’s his style of hitting. If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.”

“Do you mean now?” When asked for the time

“Yeah, what paper do you write for?” When introduced to Ernest Hemingway.

“I take a two hour nap, from one o’clock to four.”

“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”

Sparkling aphorisms from Yogi Berra

Top Yogi Berra Quotes

According to the recollections of his contemporaries, wherever Yogi appeared, he was able to charge every person with a good mood. He also possessed a powerful innate charisma that most people don’t have at all.

When asked about the Afghan dog in his friend’s car Yogi replied: “Looks nice. I’m thinking about a Vega.”

“Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”

Once, Yogi’s wife Carmen asked, “Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?” Yogi replied, “Surprise me.”

“George who?” An obvious reference to hated Yankees owner George Steinbrenner.

“No, but I saw him.” When asked if he had an audience with the Pope.

“The game is supposed to be fun. If you have a bad day… don’t worry about it. You can’t expect to get a hit every game.”

“How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don’t know how to spell my name.” Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to “bearer.”

“Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.” Referring to a restaurant.

When asked what he was doing after making a Jiffy Lube commercial, Yogi responded: “I’ve been doing a commercial for Linseed Oil.”

While signing autographs a woman yelled out…”Hey, Yogi, you got a minute?” Yogi’s reply: “For what?”

ROFL quotes from Yogi Berra

If you have a high enough level of intelligence, you can easily joke in his favorite style. Try experimenting with your own jokes using his templates and funny phrases.

“No, ma’am, it’s not even carbonated.” Answer to the question if the word Yoo-Hoo was hyphenated.

“Nobody can be all smiley all the time, but having a good positive attitude isn’t something to shrug off.”

“Glen Cove.” Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.

“Little League is good because it keeps the parents off the streets.”

“If we didn’t want to bring him up we might as well have let him stay down.”

“A home opener is always exciting, whether it’s at home or on the road.”

“So I’m ugly. I never saw nobody hit with his face.”

“It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much.”

“I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won 25 games. What I don’t understand is how he lost 5.”

“I wish everybody had the drive he (Joe DiMaggio) had. He never did nothing wrong on the field. I never seen him dive for the ball… everything was a waist-high catch… and he never walked off the field.”

The most interesting quotes from Yogi Berra

Get to know the depth of this person’s wisdom and his ability to engage in dialogue with the audience right now. Learn a few phrases to always be in the spotlight.

“If I were playing alone, I would use my ball.” His reply in scramble golf when the other players wouldn’t use his ball.

It started raining while he was riding in a friend’s car. Yogi asked: “Where is that coming from?”

“If you don’t catch the ball you catch the bus home.”

“We’ve had enough trowels and tribulations.”

“Mt. Sinus Hospital.”

“You can’t compare me to my father. Our similarities are different.” Supposedly said by Yogi’s son Dale, but it sure sounds like dad.

“Baseball is 90% mental… the other half is physical.”

“… we were overwhelming underdogs.”

“He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”

“Take it with a grin of salt.”

Final quotes from Yogi Berra

Unfortunately, these are not all the aphorisms from the famous baseball player. Putting them all together is unrealistically difficult, because they are scattered across various television recordings, many of which are already gathering dust in archives and private collections.

“Was that local time?”

“The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.”

“It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.”

“When I was young and green behind the ears.”

“In baseball you don’t know nothing.”

“If people don’t want to come out to the ball park, how you gonna stop them?”

After being told of a Jewish mayor being elected in Dublin, Ireland, Yogi’s response was, “Yeah, only in America can this happen.”

Commenting on the fact that GM was discontinuing the Corvair model, Yogi said: “They are not going to make them next year, so I am gonna buy a Volkswagen or a foreign car.”

Playing a game on television, Yogi was told to say the first thing that came to mind when he heard a name. The announcer then said Mickey Mantle. Yogi’s response: “What about him?”

“… contract lenses.”

What lesson can we learn

Can we say that he was the favorite of fate? No, because he came from a poor family and experienced poverty, the destruction of the Great Depression, becoming only with the help of his own fortitude. This is his example for the next generations.

Despite the hard work, Yogi Berra has always been a merry fellow, he never lost heart, treating with a positive even his own sports failures. His phrases even received a special vocation in linguistics and their own name Yogi-ism. Many of them are still included in the best collections of humor and jokes.

You can pick his best jokes to use with friends, work colleagues, or in public speaking. All his phrases are worthy of your attention. And his personality, even after years, continues to attract the attention of many people.